So It Begins.

I am sitting in my bed

in the attic of my parents' house in Monroe, Utah,

listening to "Hello" by Adele...

trying not to drive myself crazy

wondering where in the world I am going

to serve the Lord's sons and daughters

as a full-time missionary

for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.



I have never felt more free,

more happy,

more calm,

more hopeful,

more open-minded,

more keen to the possibilities

of the future that lays mapped out before me

becoming more and more clear

each day.


I have never felt more love

for the people around me

---strangers and family and friends alike---
than this past week.


And I am praying my call will come tomorrow morning

bright and early

at 6:30 AM.


*Perks of living in a tiny town, you can ask the mail woman

to call you the second it is in her hands so you can personally

come and retrieve it in the bleak morning hours. WIN. *


I am praying it comes.

Because I just want to know where I will be serving

Who I will be serving

So I can start to love them already

more than I already do.


I have never been more grateful, humbled

and excited for anything

in my whole ENTIRE LIFE!!!!


I'm just nineteen

but I feel like I will never be the same.


"The gospel teaches us to be happy, to have faith rather than fear, to find hope and overcome despair, to leave darkness and turn toward the light of the everlasting gospel." - Boyd K. Packer. 

The Choice.

My papers were submitted this past Tuesday.


And oh, boy, is Satan mad.

He's hitting me hard with every tiny thought you could ever imagine.

He is trying to make me feel indefinitely alone

He is begging me to care what others thing and let that hold me back from doing my best

and he is simply trying to make me hate myself!!!

Well,

get thee hence. 


I choose Christ, and I will from this day on. 


And that's a cold hard promise.